Please Do Not Hold the Door Open for Me

I am all for people being kind to one another, but there is a point when someone’s kindness turns into an annoyance. I am talking about people who hold the door open for others…and I don’t mean the “you’re-right-behind-me-so-let-me-hold-the-door-for-you” type of people, I mean the “you’re-one-fifty-feet-behind-me-so-let-me-stand-with-the-door-open-and-make-you-feel-bad-so-you-have-to-rush-towards-me” type of people- the excessive door-holders. I don’t understand those people – why are you going out of your way to hold the door open for me? Why are you willing to spend thirty seconds standing there, watching me slowly approach you? I would understand going out of your way to hold a door open for someone if they were a pregnant woman with a stroller and groceries in each hand or a person in a wheelchair…but if that’s not the case then please don’t stand there trying to act kind.

I mean, how rude is it to make me walk faster than I have to just so I don’t have to feel bad about you standing there with the door open for me…when I didn’t even ask you to do so! What if I’m tired and don’t feel like walking faster to avoid being disrespectful to you? What if I stop dead in my tracks and stand in one spot for ten minutes? Would you continue standing there with the door open, waiting for me to start walking again?

It’s one thing to be an excessive door-holder, but it’s another to be an excessive door-holder who expects a nice glace and a “Thank you!”. If you want to hold the door open for me as I take my sweet time across the hall that’s one thing, but you shouldn’t expect me to thank you and shouldn’t get mad when I don’t… The only thing you did was make me feel uncomfortable and annoyed – why would I be thankful for that?

As I see someone holding the door for me from fifty feet away I begin feeling guilty that this person is standing there while I’m so far away from the door, which means I have to speed up so that I don’t look like a total jackass by taking my sweet time walking, which angers me because now I have to go from a relaxed walk to an awkward sprint to catch up to you, give you a fake smile, say, “Thank you” and pretend like the whole experience wasn’t inconvenient for both of us. I want nothing to do with this process.

If you’re this type of door-holder, don’t expect a thank you…at least not from me. For all you know maybe I have anthropophobia and am petrified of interacting with people, maybe I lost my voice and can’t speak, maybe I look ugly that day and don’t want to draw attention to myself, maybe you’re ugly and I don’t want to look at you.

I am not going to go out of my way to accept your gesture of kindness, just like you shouldn’t go out of your way to be a doorman for me. If you want to be a kind person, donate to charity, don’t hold the door open for me, I can do that on my own.