Hurricane Terrible Driving: Category 5

Miami is a beautiful place to reside. It offers a wide array of activities to attend, such as beaches, nightclubs, and art galleries. However, one key thing about Miami locals that we all share in this tropical paradise is our dislike for traffic. Everywhere in the United States that I have traveled to, such as California, New York, Georgia, etc. traffic is regarded as one of those processes that makes one tick. The biggest difference in dealing with traffic in Miami is that no one knows what the hell they are doing when they are driving. I sometimes believe that the driving attendant who scored the exams gave girls a free pass or that men paid their license off. Miami drivers have the shortest attention span when driving. When it rains, people stop to watch the rainfall on the front of their car. When there is an accident, people hover around the accident to see what is going on for a period of hours. When they close off lanes in the expressway, people still try to see if they can go through the closed off lanes in the expressway, which causes even more traffic because you have to deal with the policeman yelling and stalling your commute. I have resided in Miami for twenty years, but started driving about seven years ago. Although I am familiarized with this driving style, it continuously drives me insane every time I go to work, school, or an event. Imagine driving to work and those driving beside you do not use turn signals when changing lanes, cut you off constantly, and drive on two lanes on the road. And let’s not talk about women drivers (I am a woman btw). Though women are often held to be worse drivers than men, in Miami this stereotype is exaggerated. Women take a minute for each inch that is presented to them in front of the parking spot. They drive very slowly in lanes where you are supposed to drive at normal speed. They back up into things, such as fences, mailboxes, and other people’s car. And though men are considered better drivers, in Miami they are considered racecar drivers. Most men in Miami if they are not busy living at home with their parents, they are busy driving their new sports car they purchased at the car auction with exhaust, turbo, and horsepower in an attempt to mimic Jeff Gordon. I mean seriously is it necessary to speed in a school zone or drift in the parking lot of Mcdonalds? And let’s not forget the elderly in Miami who have spent years in this Traffic hell. These are ripened souls who have either contributed to its absurdity or reside in central and northern Florida, but only come down on weekends to visit their children. The elder generation is not so terrible, but they still manage to drive 20 mph on a 35 mph zone. In what other place in the United States is this normal driving behavior? Every time one of my relatives from the Northeast comes to visit me they laugh at how awful the driving is and use it as an excuse to extend retirement to a later age. I will not even mention how awful the tourist driving is because at this point, they mesh with the locals. So next time you consider visiting Miami, and decide to step away from its local tourist spots, if it takes you twice as long to commute, you have most likely come into contact with any of the aforementioned categories of people.